Hey there, thanks a lot, appreciate ur comments

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A bright spark coiled within a lattice of eternal darkness and cold, an explosion of colour, shadows flaring... a beginning.

nice production on this but i'm not sure it achieves what you intended.

you're right to think children can reflect the beauty and diversity of their environment - but you have to be careful you dont fall into a giant cliche..
this looks like a cross between an oxfam poster and an advert for a zoo.

clearly you have added the paint splats and such to create texture and depth, but are they appropriate? i suggest you look at the work of dan eldon, who mixed beautiful landscape shots with personal portraits and native art.. the result is a great deal more authentic than this.

the format puzzles me.. why the individual panels? the only way they could be justified would be if they illustrated different facets of africa, but here its just one picture broken up into many.

the actual photos are great however did you take them? if not then credit the source.

please realise this comment is honest criticism.

Hi there, I appreciate honest criticism we wouldn't get far without it... I think that comparing this to an oxfam ad is slightly short sighted as it's obviously not a bleeding hearts ad... I also agree that trying to get the children to express the beauty of africa can be cliched and in one sense was a much bigger task than I had intended and have not yet completely achieved hmmm I sense a back to drawing board coming on... and the zoo ad... well that i'll leave in ur court as I don't agree, not many children in zoos. That aside I haven't really pulled the themes together yet as this is my 2nd draft, when you say authentic, what is ur gauge for authenticity? This is a meandering of my mind, whichever path it takes in my view is authentic to me... if you meant that I am not portraying them well in some way, what would u suggest? This was just meant to be something she could look at and be reminded of her memories of africa... a spectrum of her times there... During my time there this in my opinion gives me great flashbacks to the kids that chase you as you come into their villages, and the light really reminds me of the north... guess it depends on where u've been there and ur memories of it.

Maybe it's the way I described it, I think mainly because it started out as something for an individual and then I started adding politics to it, I guess that could've also been to do with the fact that I had been reading The Constant Gardener by John Le Carre and was frustrated by it ...

The reason for the configuration is that she likes that style... I do too... personal preference I guess. As for justifying it, if I wanted to display it cut into strips or in a circular format it'd be because I feel it expresses what I want it to best... I dont think there should be such extreme rules and laws with art, isn't that what expression is all about? You can say, I personally don't think the configuration works, but saying the only way to justify something is stating a rule that yo u define isn't something i'd agree with.

Hope you don't mind me being honest too, but I want to say thanks for the feedback I shall take it onboard and would love to show you the next incarnation...

All the best,

J.

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A bright spark coiled within a lattice of eternal darkness and cold, an explosion of colour, shadows flaring... a beginning.

ok i understand your decisions more, and i apologise for wording some of my criticism badly (justifying format etc.) btw when i said it reminded me partially of a zoo advert i was referring to the animals! about the 'authenticity': you're absolutely right, what seems authentic to me, may seem totally contrived to someone else... i appreciate you taking the time to respond to my comment, and good luck with the next version

Hi there, not a problem, I appreciate constructive criticism very much and I do agree with a few of your points so please do crit some of my other work if u get a chance... but I also will disagree and defend something I think isn't right ... but that's the way it works isn't it, two way street... thanks again.

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A bright spark coiled within a lattice of eternal darkness and cold, an explosion of colour, shadows flaring... a beginning.

Beautiful job my dear I really like this one, so a for you!

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I think this is looking fantastic, it does give a more upbeat view of Africa that we normally see. I like the golden toned colours you've used, and I really like how all the kids are looking happy. Surely the Oxfam adverts wait around for the kids to look miserable before they make their adverts?! Anyway, it's good to see a different viewpoint. The lion reminds me of Aslan I think my favourite square is the top middle one, very nice indeed, and a good composition. I think it'll look stunning on the wall.

Fankuuuuu very much! x

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A bright spark coiled within a lattice of eternal darkness and cold, an explosion of colour, shadows flaring... a beginning.